when Carmen speaks,

i cease to be.

i surrender to

the strangest thing…

a serenade,

a sweet melody,

of words I know

but am afraid to sing.

but when Carmen speaks

she speaks to me

and suddenly

i sing along.

when Carmen sleeps

so close to me,

i fall immersed

into the strangest dreams…

a fool’s crusade,

a tragedy,

within a tempest

that bursts through its seams.

but when Carmen sleeps

she sleeps with me

and suddenly

i rest in peace.

when Carman laughs

because of me

i’m the clumsy punchline

of humanity

beyond denial

that precious smile

i skirt the bounds

of my own sanity

but when Carmen laughs

she laughs with me

and suddenly

the world seems brighter.

when Carmen cries

it ruins me

my life escapes

with every falling tear

emotions fill

past capacity

i’m all used up

so I just disappear

so when Carmen cries

it’s despite of me

and suddenly

i do not matter.

I can't remember exactly when I wrote this, but I remember what prompted me to.  It is about a girl that I knew years and years ago but didn't really know at all.  You see, I have this insane notion that I am oh so old and hardened at the tender age of 29... that I am impervious to the suffering of others, apathetic to the joys of others, and unconcerned with the lot of ya!  But then along comes a cheerleader for the grace of humanity and BAM I am writing tired poetry, pondering the contingencies of fate, and wondering exactly what it means to be humble.